i permit you to call me
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
