I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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