UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
a search helicopter?!
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
