I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
