Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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