Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
