go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
