I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
