So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she peed on how many people?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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