and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
