It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
