When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
