So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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