areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
of course. lets lasso hookers.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
soo... how was my night?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
