Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
That accounts for only three of the penises
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
