Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
handjob tips. give me some.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize