I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you had me at cake vodka
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
