Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
