you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
