i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
