guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
