awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
