i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
