Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
