hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
