so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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