Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
