you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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