there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
