O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
