I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
