Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
