she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
