I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Shitshow foam night was such a success
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize