just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
