Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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