I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
two words: eviction party
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
