I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
When did angry sex become our thing?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
