The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
