K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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