I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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