oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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