I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
