I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
