I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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