I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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