it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
