I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think I just sharted jello shots
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