I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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