just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
