and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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