M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
